Not road rage.  Not rage at anyone in particular.  Just rage.  The all consuming kind.

Oversleeping on a Monday can result in the kind of rage, as described on "Fight Club", that makes me want to "open the valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see".  The kind of rage that makes me want to "destroy something beautiful". 

I'm a dangerous man this morning.

Why?  Because I overslept.  I overslept on a Monday. 

It's all my fault.  I know this.  That's why I know it's wrong to deliver a larnyx crushing blow to the throat of an innocent person.  But still, it will likely happen.  Somebody's gotta pay, ya know?  A random punch to someone's temple might also be the temporary relief from my misery that I'm looking for.  I'm more of the homicidal types, as opposed to suicidal. Know what I mean?

And yes, it could've been much worse.  But waking up an hour and a half late, realizing that I live thirty minutes from work, then spilling hot coffee on my crotch, are all bad ways to start a week.  Add to that, that I was driving "The Rock" van and didn't want to speed and risk getting a ticket in the company vehicle.    That would've been icing on the cake, eh?

It was really an unfortunate series of events.  I hope your Monday is off to a better start than mine. 

So if you're wondering why you didn't hear me flapping my gums and making inappropriate comments on-air for the first hour of "The Morning Rehab" this morning, now you know why.  Do you like your larnyx?  If so...Don't irritate me.  Somebody's got a bad case of the "Mondays".