Innapropriate Things to do on Valentine’s Day

This blog is about things that might be considerate inappropriate to do on the day of love.

1)  Buying your wife/girlfriend/mistress  a dress that is two sizes too small, then replacing the tag with one of her true size.  That way she feels bad about herself.  This could be good if you're one of those guys that thinks the path to a woman's heart begins with dismantling her self esteem.

2)  Choosing Feb 14th to let your partner and/or former partner(s) know that you have likely given them a sexually transmitted disease.  Wait until St. Patty's day.  They'll be in a more festive mood and can probably take the news a  little better.  Avoid all phone calls that begin with, "Hey, remember that sore I had?"

3)  Don't Buy straws that are tipped with anything that resembles a part of the human body, then distribute them around the office.  I guess the distributing part is the real no-no.  "What?  This kind of thing is frowned upon here?"  doesn't usually cut it with HR.

4)  Don't Wear a red heart shaped sticker on your shirt and then tell female co-workers that you have a "heart-on".  Not funny.  Not cool.  We get it.  You're clever.

5)  Don't buy your partner an expensive diamond that makes them weep with joy, then steal it from them while they're sleeping and return it to the store.  And definitely don't file a police report, claiming that it's stolen, just so you have a believable story.

Come to think about it, these are things that you should probably not do on any other day of the year.  And that's one to grow on.