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Man Stabbed for Refusing to Switch Positions During Threesome

Ashley Hunter, Orlando DeWitt
Fargo Police Department

Cupid’s arrow wasn’t the only sharp object wounding people in the mood for love this Valentine’s season.

In the most bizarre crime to come out of Fargo since the botched kidnapping that inspired the movie of the same name, 33-year-old Ashley Hunter (above, left) was arrested and charged with felony aggravated assault after he stabbed another man for refusing to switch positions while they were having sex with a woman together. And we all know how frustrating that can be, right? Right?

Hunter reportedly picked up a few women at a bar last Friday and brought them back to his place, where he began doing the nasty with one of them in the living room. Orlando DeWitt, 37, (above, right) was watching the duo go at it from his bedroom and thought, “Hey, you know what would make this better? If I joined in.” And that’s exactly what he did, because roomies should share more than just the cable bill.

Their real-life Penthouse forum soon gave way a Guns & Ammo moment when DeWitt refused to switch positions and Hunter completely lost the type of cool you need when taking part in a threesome. An argument ensued with a lot of childish name-calling and threats and finally reached a, ahem, climax when Hunter leaned into the couch and proved that size does indeed matter, by whipping out a 12-inch-long knife. You can bet that’s not the foot-long instrument the woman involved was hoping to encounter.

The woman and DeWitt, both naked, scampered into the bathroom to avoid a menage-a-tragedy. Hunter forced his way into the bathroom and DeWitt tried to flee, but was stabbed (not seriously) by Hunter. DeWitt managed to call 911 and cops arrived on the scene, where they most likely immediately regretted their choice of vocation when they realized what they had to investigate.

DeWitt and Hunter met in prison, by the way — you’d think they would’ve learned the proper etiquette when it comes to having sex in a group setting. Guess prison didn’t change these guys, whose lives still clearly revolve around how much time they spend in the hole.

Next: Speaking of Jail, OJ Simpson Might be Gay Now?

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