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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

Denise Myles
Akron Police Department
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Incredibly Dumb Robber Voluntarily Gives Clerk Her Phone Number

Look, if you're robbing a video store in 2017, you probably didn't graduate magna cum laude from criminal school.

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Beer
Getty Images
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Very Courteous (And Very Bad) Burglar Leaves Apology Beer

Even bad guys are nice in Canada.

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Kristina Roberts
Manchester Police Department
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Classy Woman Arrested After Threatening to Poop on Officer

This woman is in deep, well, you know.

Today's winner of the day is Kristina Roberts, an 18-year-old from Manchester, N.H., who threatened to go number two on a cop's leg while the officer tried to arrest her after responding to a noise complaint in the wee hours of Monday morning...

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Burglar
iStock
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Terrible Drunk Burglar Gets Stuck in Smashed Window

Hey, criminals, do yourself a favor: ignore the cliche and make sure you never return to the scene of the crime.

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John Forbes, Jason Havel
Winnebago County Jail
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What the…? Men Busted Stealing 100,000 Diapers

This stinks.

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Taco Bell
Getty Images
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Woman Offers Cop Sex in Exchange for Taco Bell, The Jokes Are Free for All

Tortilla, meet whore-tilla.

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Burglar
iStock
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Inept Burglar Stuck in Window Is a Supremely Royal Doofus

Talk about a pane in the butt.

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Fire
iStock
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Crackhead Who Set Himself on Fire and Casually Strolls Down the Street Is the Ultimate ‘Just Say No’

When this guy got lit, he really got lit.

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Pot
Photodisc
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Call the Cops to Complain Your Drug Dealer Raised His Prices? That’s a Big Fattie No

Only a dope would do this.

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Blackjack
Wavebreak Media
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Man Leaves Casino, Robs Bank, Returns to Gamble, Is a Moron

Perhaps the only thing this guy is worse at than gambling is life.

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Python
iStock
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Brazen Thief Flees With $200 Python Shoved Down His Pants

This dude has a long snake in his pants. And, no, that's not a euphemism.

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Eric Bramwell
DuPage County State's Attorney Office
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Man Gets 22 Years in Prison for Stealing Remote Control

Changing the channel has never been so costly.

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