When Tommy Lee posted an open letter to fans a couple of weeks ago griping about people always wanting to have their picture taken with him, some took it as petty complaining from a rock star who’s lost touch with the people who helped make him famous. But in a recent interview, he revealed that his misgivings run a little deeper.

Talking to Fuse.tv, the Motley Crue drummer recounted the incident that he described as “the most disrespectful bulls— I’ve ever experienced in my life”: A run-in with a mortuary employee who overstepped her bounds. “My mother passed away recently,” he explained, “I’m at the mortuary, I’ve got my mom’s ashes in my right hand, and my girlfriend, I’m holding her hand with my left hand, and we’re walking out. And the f—ing lady, the receptionist, goes, ‘Oh my god, can I take a picture with you?’”

Lee was understandably reluctant, as he explained: “I looked and her and went (deep breath), ‘I’m sorry, but I’d rather not.’” But it didn’t end there — Lee said the receptionist pressed the issue, asking “Are you sure?” “I’m f—ing standing there with my mom’s ashes and it’s not the f—ing happiest day on the planet for me. I couldn’t believe it,” recalled an incredulous Lee.

“I go, ‘Okay, that’s officially the most f—ed up thing that has ever happened to me.’”

After calling the mortuary manager, Lee said he left the building. “I sat in the car, and I’m shaking, and my girlfriend goes, ‘I’m so sorry honey,’ and I was speechless. I didn’t even know what to say. I couldn’t believe a human being just did that.”