This is what happens when people drink too much. They go a little nuts. Early last Thursday morning, police in Salem, Oregon arrested a naked nut in a nut tree. Stephen James Ellingsworth was found completely naked, except for his shoes, in a tree in an orchard. Police received multiple 911 calls from witnesses who’d seen Ellingsworth on the street near the orchard touching himself in front of passing cars.

When police arrived, a K-9 team tracked him into the orchard, where he had climbed a tree. Ellingsworth, who also goes by the last name Frolov, is a 28-year-old resident of Silverton, Oregon and claimed he had been out drinking with friends the night before and doesn’t know how he ended up nude in the orchard. 

Officers took Ellingsworth into custody and provided him with a blanket, not just because he was nude, but also due to the 30 degree temperature. Too bad they didn’t taser the guy. There is nothing better than some roasted nuts on a cold night.