What Your Vintage Concert Tour T-Shirt Says About You
Nowadays it’s easy to find a vintage t-shirt of your favorite band. Websites and online auctions make it simple to track down a rare, classic shirt that you couldn’t find anywhere else, but it’s going to cost you.
But what about the guys who didn’t buy a shirt from the ’70s to be trendy and just haven’t gotten around to updating their wardrobe in three decades.
Here’s a breakdown of what your vintage concert shirt says about you.
I placed in an arm wrestling tournament at a pub more than once. Never quite won the championship, but I definitely didn’t finish last.
I didn’t watch the halftime show of the 2010 Super Bowl because if I did it would have tarnished any memory I had of a one time great band.
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
I’m pretty sure my parents liked Springsteen so I bought this thing on eBay for $150. It’ll make me cool, right?
I have spent over $100 at a Tommy Bahama on one visit and may or may not own a plush parrot that I bring out when I’ve had too many drinks.
I can sing into a hairbrush better than anyone on the radio, but if I’m in front of anyone I can’t quite pull it off.
I’ve watched episodes of MASH to try and find a deeper meaning or discover what the writers were really trying to tell us.
Elton John & Billy Joel
I support equal marriage rights and drunk driving.
I will only watch the first five seasons of The Simpsons. The other seasons are insulting.
I have a tattoo somewhere on my body of a skull and crossbones, except the bones are replaced with pistols, and the skull is wearing a cowboy hat.
I got a few weird looks going to the Revlon counter asking for a lipstick that would match my skin tone, but that’s the price of rock ‘n roll.
It’s hard for me to reach the gas pedal in my Trans-Am because my leather pants made it difficult to move my legs from side to side.
I bought a saxophone when I was 19 because I thought one day I could be the final member of the band.
I’ve daydreamed about how cool it would be if Phil Collins had me sit center, front row and sang a song to me about watching a teen drown.
I may or may not still own a pair of gloves with the fingers cut out of them. I also aspired to dance with those guys who perform in the subway. I also tried to dance on the ceiling once. Broke my tailbone.
My kids were conceived during a guitar solo while we were high.
I’ve ingested more breaths of marijuana than I have breaths that don’t include marijuana.
Guns N’ Roses
One time I asked one of my bros “How do my bangs look? Are they big enough?”
Monsters of Rock Tour
I was suspended from high school for smoking in the bathroom and telling the principal to “stuff it” more times than I made the honor roll.
I still listen to my music on a Walkman because I think iPods destroy the quality of the music.
John Cougar Mellencamp
I never stopped calling him Johnny Cougar. Ain’t that America?
I’ve at least contemplated biting the head off of a live chicken while being covered in blood.
I spent more time learning to moonwalk than I did watching MJ trial coverage.