Check Out This Times Square Crutch Fight To Crown a New Hardcore Champion — Or Something
Looking like a tourist is embarassing. Maybe it’s because it makes us think of our Dads: Their vacation getup of the dreaded sock-and- sandal combo, goofy hat and camera around the neck. Even the word “touristy” itself has become a derogatory term to describe crappy places that jerks go to.
When visiting New York, it is especially hard to not look like a tourist. The buildings are tall and impressive, the crowds are huge, and there are flashing lights and screaming crazy people everywhere – All of this stimuli makes visitors even easier to spot, when contrasted by native New Yorkers who are so hardened by exposure that they barely notice public defecation.
However, a tourist in Times Square this week may have found the secret to looking like a native New Yorker: Get into a fight with a homeless person. Scratch that — A crutch duel. A crutch duel that involves a police barricade.
As native New Yorkers, it’s possible that we might have completely missed this fight while walking by. We usually have our headphones blasting, and avoid Times Square at all costs anyway, because it is a recipe for a panic attack. One thing is for sure, though: If we did notice it, we definitely wouldn’t have pegged this guy as a tourist. Kudos, Jim from Kansas!*
*We have no idea if this man is named Jim, or if he is actually from the Kansas. He fights like a Jim though.