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‘The Canyons’ Releases a 30s-Style Teaser, and It’s Still Looking Bad

Canyons/Prettybird/Sodium Fox

A new teaser for Bret Easton Ellis and Paul Schrader’s ‘The Canyons‘ has emerged, boasting a 1930s influence along with more Lindsay Lohan, porn star James Deen, and yes, it’s still not looking very good.

We’re not sure what the deal is with ‘The Canyons.’ Written by Bret Easton Ellis (‘American Psycho,’ ‘The Informers’) and directed by Paul Schrader (writer of ‘Taxi Driver,’ director of ‘American Gigolo’), the film was shot on a super low budget made possible by a crowd-funding campaign.

First there was a noir-style teaser. Then there was a grindhouse teaser. And now, as the Facebook page promises, comes the last stylish teaser, this time inspired by the 1930s. Each teaser has relied on a superficial gimmick to sell the film — do they not realize they cast Lindsay Lohan and a porn star?

The synopsis is what you expect from Bret Easton Ellis — a group of superficial people in LA deal with their intertwining lives of sex, lies, and betrayal in the modern age. And the teasers sort of confirm that, but don’t particularly sell the story to anyone unaware of the plot or unfamiliar with Ellis.

Lohan’s acting has been — how do you say — mediocre at best in recent years, and it doesn’t appear that James Deen (whom we love in, um, his other films) is pulling a Sasha Grey in the ‘Girlfriend Experience’ performance here.

Then again, it’s hard to tell with these teasers, which are selling us on style over substance — and how do you even sell an audience on a style not used for the final product? Bizarre.

Check it out for yourself below. ‘The Canyons’ still doesn’t have a release date, presumably delayed while Ellis and Schrader scramble to find a flux capacitor so they can release it in 1984.

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