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10 Funniest Tweets From Comedian Rob Delaney’s MLB Twitter Account Take-Over

Rob Delaney MLB

Writer and comedian Rob Delaney is a Twitter God.

His 840,000+ followers on the social media platform are treated to Delaney’s consistently irreverent and often bizarre humor. He became the first comedian to win the ‘Funniest person on Twitter award‘ at the Comedy Central awards in 2012.

A Boston native who now lives in Los Angeles, Red Sox fan Delaney took over the @MLB Twitter on Tuesday and peppered the internets with quirky, sardonic quips that may have sent baseball purists everywhere into seizures.

Below are his 10 funniest tweets:

A Year to Remember…



(Note: The Kansas City Royals didn’t play in the 2004 World Series.)


Baseball is Ham-tastic?



(Note: Baseballs were never made of ham, and Taft was not president in 1971. He may have eaten baseballs, though.)


Keep Your Shirt On



(Note: In a kind gesture, Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp gave a sick boy the uniform right off his back on Sunday. There is nothing kind about Delaney getting naked, as his Twitter avatar illustrates.)


Bottom of the Ninth = Top of the Head?



(Note: This is simply not true.)


They Loved Baseball At Alcatraz



(Note: Benjamin Franklin was never president. Franklin D. Roosevelt was, but he never served a prison sentence.)


The Six-Tool Player



(Note: Robinson Cano is an all-star second baseman for the New York Yankees. Though he recently signed with Jay-Z’s sports agency, he’s not a songwriter. Yet.)


Looking Lumpy, Mrs Crabtree



(Note: We don’t know Tom Crabtree well enough to say he doesn’t love pillowcases. We think it is against the law, though. Even in Florida.)


The Candy That Ruth Built?



(Note: The Baby Ruth bar was named after President Grover Cleveland’s daughter, Ruth Cleveland; neither Babe Ruth, nor any nuns, were involved.)


The Tyranny of Mr. Burns



(Note: Filmmaker Ken Burns loves baseball. He may have spent Tuesday whimpering after reading Delaney’s tweets.)


Mick-ety Spit



(Note: We can’t say this isn’t true.)


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