Contact Us

Man Cuts Off His Own Penis With X-Acto Knife

The San Francisco police department responded to a 911 call in which some twisted 20-year-old decided that he should cut off his own penis with an X-Acto knife. Obviously he was very concerned about precision.

According to detectives, this amateur surgeon was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol during his self-procedure. He is currently undergoing a series of psychological evaluations, which may or may not include, a group of five frightened psychiatrists armed with stainless steel jock straps and a couple of wet rubber hoses.

The feat of cutting off one’s own meat is called autopeotomy, and it apparently isn’t as uncommon as most of us would think. There have been several cases across the globe in which grown men have severed their junk in a psychotic attempt to get attention or make a point.

Although the man’s motivation for severing his member is still unknown, there is no doubt that the reasoning is just as much a product of lunacy than the act itself. After all, who gives two giant craps why someone cuts off their own junk.

Police say that the man’s amputated package was located, and even though we feel like this imbecile would be better off being put down like a rabid Chupacabra, doctors say they are working to reattach it.

NEXT: Arby’s Urinal Gives Man’s Junk a Steam Burn

Best of 106.9 Classic Rock

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for All Access Pass quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive All Access Pass contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.