KISS Purchases Professional Sports Team.
So here’s an unusual little story: KISS, the multimedia corporate product-spewing behemoth that used to be a rock band, has gone and bought its very own professional football team. In Los Angeles, no less. Sure, it’s in the Arena League, but Angelenos can’t be choosers these days.
All right, let’s get all the jokes out of the way at once. Deep breath:
The team, set to start play next March in Detroit Rock City Los Angeles, will run a nontraditional offense: not the pistol, not the shotgun, the Love Gun. Players will be encouraged to rock and roll all night and party ev-uh-ree day. Following every touchdown, the team will go for a deuce. They’ll keep the visitors’ locker room hotter than hell. Team physician? Why, Dr. Love, of course.
The team will be dubbed — no, this is not part of the joke — the L.A. KISS. And their helmet designs are going to be amazing (and, no doubt, for sale everywhere at a reasonable price). As incentive, the band will play a private concert for season-ticket holders.
No word yet on when they will make their debut.