I have recently decided that if, and at this point it’s still a big if, I ever decide to become a homicidal maniac, I will have to find a way to lighten the mood so that my victims at least appreciate the fact that I’m clever. You know what I mean? Maybe you can help me with this.
If I were to kill a man by hitting him in the head with a surf board, I would have to say something like “Surf’s up, Dude”.
If I were to kill a man in a wheel chair, rolling him off a cliff or down a set of stairs, I would have to say something like “Let the good times roll”.
Get it now?
If I were to kill a woman by way of fire, again…a big IF, I’d say “Daaaaamn, you are smokin!!”. If it involved cooking her, I would say “Will you be my grillfriend?”.
If I were hitting a head with a mailbox or using a letter opener in some way, I’d have to say “you’ve got mail!!”.
If I was paper cutting them to death with a large calander, it would depend on what day of the week we were currently on. Like it was Monday, I’d say “looks like somebody’s got a bad case of the Mundies”. Or “TGIF!!!” If it was on a Friday.
Okay, maybe. But it’s pretty hard to paper cut someone to death. I admit it.
If I had a bomb hidden under my shirt, I think I’d ask the person to pull my finger…Then detonate.
Help me out here…What would you say? This is not saying that you WOULD become a homicidal maniac, anytime soon anyway, but what WOULD you say IF you were?
This is soooo wrong. That’s what you’ll love about it. This your chance to shine.