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Creepy, Not Corny, Pick Up Lines

But here's your winner, hands down. "Hey, excuse me...Can you help me? Let me get your opinion. Does this rag smell like chloraform?" Only Willem Dafoe could make that one any creepier.

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Trump’s Bid For Presidency Has Been “Busey’d”

"Gary Substance Abusey". Feared by the American Dental Association, Car Insurance companies and Presidential candidates alike.

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This Even Scared Me

I've got to admit that I was a little frightened when I saw this video. If it scared me, just imagine what it would do to kids.

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Most Royal Weddings Suck, But Not This One

This video IS funny. It's not "somebody getting hurt kind of funny". That kind of stuff is hard to beat. But it's , at minimum, slightly more than entertaining.

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Geoffrey Mutai Runs Fastest Marathon Ever
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Geoffrey Mutai Runs Fastest Marathon Ever

Kenyan Geoffrey Mutai won the Boston Marathon on Monday, finishing in 2 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds, the fastest 26.2 miles in history.

But, alas, there's a catch: Even though Mutai beat the previous record by 57 seconds, because there was a strong tailwind on a downhill course, Mutai's time won't be recognized. In fact, 2011 Boston Marathon runner-up and fellow-Kenyan Moses Mosop also surpassed the world record, finishing only four seconds behind Mutai.

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The preferred method for the "drunkorexic"...At least they won't puke up their dinenr.
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Are You a “Drunk-Orexic” ?

I suppose I should say it's an "alleged disorder", because I'm not fully convinced it's anything more than a character flaw.

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Burger King Japan Adds 1,160-Calorie ‘Meat Monster’ to Menu
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Burger King Japan Adds 1,160-Calorie ‘Meat Monster’ to Menu

If -- for some reason -- you ever wanted to consume more than half (or in some cases almost all) of your daily allotment for calorie intake with one burger, you're in luck. All you have to do is chow down on the newest menu item at Burger King in Japan.

The behemoth sandwich, dubbed "Meat Monster," contains a minimum of 1,160 calories.

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Dear Penthouse, I never thought anything like this would really happen to me...
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Vice President Van Winkle

It may not stack up to George Bush Sr. yacking in a Foreign dignatary's lap, but it's always funny to catch an American statesman doing something so...Human.

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These hep cats wanna square dance!!
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Here’s One For All You Hillbilly/Video Game Nerds

Maybe it's just that I grew up in the Smoky Mountains, in East Tennessee. Maybe it's that I played a lot of Nintendo as a kid. But something about this spoke to my heart.

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Death By Pasta

No, it wasn't the calories. Nor was it a case of eating oneself to death. It was literally death by pasta in Toronto, Ontario earlier this week, when a man who works in a pasta factory actually fell in to a pasta making machine. The 26 year old man was working at the machine when according to a relative of a worker, his shirt got caught in the machine, and it pulled him in head first.

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A Local Werewolf Eats the Human ear of a missing Inmate at the Victoria Jail.
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Victoria : Dumb Criminals ?

I know Victoria is more known for it's #2 national ranking in murders per capita. We focus on our violent crime here in South Texas. I guess criminals here have their priorities straight. Go ahead. Blame on all on "gang activity".

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The Blue Chair of Fertility

Want to get pregnant? Then, you might want to visit a hotel in England, where there's a chair sitting in the lobby that's been dubbed "the fertility chair." I would not make this stuff up, no sir. According to a report, 7 hotel staff members have become pregnant in the past 18 months, and they all have something in common...they all sat in the ominous Blue Chair of Fertility.

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