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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

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Man Impaled on Fence After Dodging Out on Bar Tab

There is no joy in having to pay a large bar tab, especially when there seems to be a discrepancy with the bill. However, it is well advised to just pay it – because there is even less joy in having to be removed from a fence after you impale yourself while attempting to pull the old “drink and dash” routine.

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Seward County Sheriff's Department
Seward County Sheriff's Department
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Guy Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Junk During Gun Purchase

If you are a convicted felon, there are a couple of ways to ensure another trip back to the pokey – shooting yourself in the balls with an illegal firearm is one way.

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ABC
ABC
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Pistol-Packin’ Grandpa Thwarts Florida Robbery [VIDEO]

Robbery 101: before you try to shake down a public establishment, make sure no one there is armed. That’s what two would-be thieves in Florida learned the hard way last weekend.

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Thinkstock
Thinkstock
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Teen at Center of Colossal Drug Ring That Netted $20K a Month Busted By Police

An undercover investigation in Ohio has led to the shocking revelation that a 17-year-old is at the center of a huge drug ring that brings in up to $20,000 per month.

And here you thought it was tough for teens to find a summer job.

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KPRC-TV Houston TX
KPRC-TV Houston TX
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The Ultimate Revenge! Man signs ex-girlfriend up for prisoner dating

How's this for revenge?

A Houston man is accused of signing his ex-girlfriend up for a prisoner dating website.

Police said Carl Wayne McGraw, Jr., 30, was romantically involved with the victim for about five months

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ThinkStock
ThinkStock
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World’s Worst Thief Steals Fake Sandwiches

Times are tough. People need money… and food. Sadly, this means that sometimes the ones who are desperate resort to thievery as the only way out. This guy is no exception. To bad for him, his crime is a story that is sure to brighten up your day. All he wanted was a sandwich…

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Vintage Books/OllieR, Flickr
Vintage Books/OllieR, Flickr
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Man Assaults Girlfriend With Steak Sauce For Reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

When Emma McCormick read aloud passages of the runaway erotic best-seller ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘ to her longtime boyfriend last month, he had a very, um,  saucy reaction.

Unfortunately for McCormick’s eyes and Raymond Hodgson’s permanent record we’re talking the A.1. kind of saucy.

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ThinkStock
ThinkStock
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Couple In Big Trouble After Stuffing Baby In Carry-On Luggage

X-ray scanners have caught air travelers with all sorts of strange and embarrassing things in their carry-on luggage. But it would be hard to top the images captured last week at the Shar-Jah Airport in the United Arab Emirates when an Egyptian couple stuffed their five-month-old in a suitcase and tried to sneak him past security.

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Bangor Police Dept.
Bangor Police Dept.
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Ted Nugent’s Drummer Flees Police in…..What?

Nothing says hardened criminal badass like fleeing from police in a golf cart.  Usually, smart people tend to pick a vehicle better suited to outrun the cops.

Not the case for longtime Ted Nugent drummer Mick Brown who apparently stole a golf cart after a show in Bangor, Maine featuring Nugent, Styx and REO Speedwagon

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Queensland Police | Facebook
Queensland Police | Facebook
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Tonee Walker, the ‘Buxom Bandit,’ Turns Her ‘Accomplices’ In

News of a busty burglar known as the ‘Buxom Bandit’ first broke July 2nd after a security camera caught the 22 year old blonde brandishing a knife and snatching money from the cashier with her bare hand, all while not wearing a mask. She recently turned herself into authorities, which means we now have a name to put to the funbags – Tonee Walker.

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Adam Kuban, Flickr
Adam Kuban, Flickr
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Trail of Potato Chips Leads Cops To Thief

One of the things the internet has taught us is that there are a whole lot of dumb criminals out there. Add 21-year-old Benjamin Sickles to the list.

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kctv5.com
kctv5.com
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Not-So-Armed Robber Gets His Toy Gun Taken Away by His Mommy

It’ll be a while before Roy Mitchell can live this one down. The 22-year-old made a pit stop at a gas station convenience store for a bag of Doritos… oh, and everything in the cash register. Too bad he forgot his mom was there, and he was forced to watch her step in, snatch the gun and escort him out, scolding him the entire way.

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