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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals - Page 20

Sears
Spencer Platt, Getty Images
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Two Women Steal Underwear from Sears and Then Get Psychotic Trying to Escape

There are very few things in this life worth going to prison for -- getting caught stealing a bunch of fancy underpants and then hissing and spitting like a wild-eyed alley cat in a desperate attempt to claw your way out of trouble definitely falls into that category.

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ice cream mishap
Infomatique, Flickr
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Store Clerk Busted Trading Ice Cream for Drugs

There are times when the age old system of trading goods and services comes in handy for cash-strapped young lads in desperate need of a something they cannot afford otherwise.

But not always.

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Pasco County Police
Pasco County Police
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Average, Everyday Threesome Gets Kinky When the SWAT Team is Called

Nothing spices up a marriage like a good bedtime threesome and nothing spices up a good bedtime threesome like gunfire, a standoff and the SWAT team. Hopefully when these people get out of jail, they’ll start making videos.

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VOLUSIA COUNTY JAIL
VOLUSIA COUNTY JAIL
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Teen Busted After Calling 911 to Report Strange Dream

The inappropriate 911 call has long been a weird news staple. Confused citizens have used emergency services to report everything from a sandwich without enough mayo to a broken iPhone.

However, over the weekend, Mark Welch managed to take 911 abuse to a trippy new place. The 18 year old Florida man, who had been (unsurprisingly) smoking synthetic marijuana, became convinced that everything that was happening took place in his dream from the night before.

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Elite Daily
Elite Daily
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Drunk Guy Threatens to Slap Cop with the ‘Nightstick in His Pants’

We all did stupid stuff when we were in college. Keg stands before our Psych final? Yup. Seducing our hot Spanish TA for exam answers? You betcha. Threatening to slap a police officer across the face with our penis? Wait– no, that definitely wasn’t us.

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Category: Dumb Criminals, Weird News Tags: ,
Rich Johnson of Spectacle Photo, Getty Images
Rich Johnson of Spectacle Photo, Getty Images
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Woman Arrested For Trying To Throw Drug-Filled Footballs Into Prison

It’s September, which means the nation is starting to go football crazy. Ohio woman Janine Fulton recently took football insanity to a new level when she filled a couple official size Wilson balls with pills, marijuana, cigarettes, cell phones, and cell phone chargers and tried to toss them into the Richland Correctional Institution in Mansfield, OH.

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John Harrelson, Getty Images
John Harrelson, Getty Images
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Disgruntled Employee Destroys Boss’ Office With Bulldozer

We get it. There are many times where we’ve wanted to trash the boss’ office. But that’s not a good idea for your continued employment or for workplace relations. And if you use a bulldozer to do it, your arrest record.

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Yahoo
Yahoo
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Red Bull Gives You Wings……And a Rap Sheet.

A grandson of the creator of the Red Bull energy drink has been arrested for driving a Ferrari that struck a police officer and dragged his dead body down a Bangkok street in an early-morning hit-and-run

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Screenshot-from-2012-08-25-0955041
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Punching a 70-Year-Old Wal-Mart Cashier Is Just a Bad Idea

Wal-Mart can drive anyone over the edge. It’s a huge place with lots of noise, sometimes surly employees, and always surly customers. On the other hand, Jacquetta Simmons let it get to her a little too much and she could spend seven years in jail because of it.

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New Line Cinema
New Line Cinema
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Man Arrested For Trying to Board Flight With 27 Snakes.

My God, what is wrong with people?  Seriously.  What misfires in a person's noodle that tells them that this kind of BS is acceptable public behavior and that he will get away with it.  Most importantly, what would Samuel L

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KSAT.com
KSAT.com
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Romantic Boyfriend Asks Girlfriend to Marry Him After They’re Arrested

The couple who robs together, stays together. Clearly that’s the hope of Sean Foxx of San Antonio, TX who managed to earn two balls and chains in one crime spree. The very romantic boyfriend of Treila Woods asked her to marry him after they were both arrested for aggravated robbery.

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ThinkStock
ThinkStock
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Man Breaks Into House, Makes Pot Pie in His Underwear AND THEN THINGS GET WEIRD

If a wild night of drinking ends with you sitting on a recliner in your underwear waiting for some food to heat up in order to starve off a bad case of the beer-munchies, that usually means that on that night, you somehow managed to run with the ranks of the wicked and wild without getting into too much trouble.

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