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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

devcentre, flickr
devcentre, flickr
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Mom Busted for Hacking Into School Computers to Change Kids’ Grades

Helping your kids with their homework is one thing. Breaking into the school’s computer systems to change your kids’ grades is something else entirely — but that’s what a mom in Pennsylvania is accused of doing.

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YouTube
YouTube
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Rachel Martin, Bombshell Bank Teller, Steals $72K to Pay for a Boob Job

Rachel Martin is a pioneer. We’ve heard of people pulling inside bank jobs. We’ve heard of models getting boob jobs. This is the first time we’ve ever heard of an aspiring model pulling an inside bank job so that she could get a boob job – we guess it was just a matter of time.

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4Chan
4Chan
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Hackers Swiftly Identify Disgruntled Lettuce-Stomping Burger King Employee

A disgruntled Burger King employee was quickly shown the door after posting a knees-down photo of himself standing in lettuce meant for sandwiches — and then having his identity outed by a group of crack internet sleuths.

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Screen-shot-2012-07-19-at-2.35.16-PM
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Man Impaled on Fence After Dodging Out on Bar Tab

There is no joy in having to pay a large bar tab, especially when there seems to be a discrepancy with the bill. However, it is well advised to just pay it – because there is even less joy in having to be removed from a fence after you impale yourself while attempting to pull the old “drink and dash” routine.

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Seward County Sheriff's Department
Seward County Sheriff's Department
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Guy Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Junk During Gun Purchase

If you are a convicted felon, there are a couple of ways to ensure another trip back to the pokey – shooting yourself in the balls with an illegal firearm is one way.

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ABC
ABC
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Pistol-Packin’ Grandpa Thwarts Florida Robbery [VIDEO]

Robbery 101: before you try to shake down a public establishment, make sure no one there is armed. That’s what two would-be thieves in Florida learned the hard way last weekend.

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Thinkstock
Thinkstock
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Teen at Center of Colossal Drug Ring That Netted $20K a Month Busted By Police

An undercover investigation in Ohio has led to the shocking revelation that a 17-year-old is at the center of a huge drug ring that brings in up to $20,000 per month.

And here you thought it was tough for teens to find a summer job.

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KPRC-TV Houston TX
KPRC-TV Houston TX
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The Ultimate Revenge! Man signs ex-girlfriend up for prisoner dating

How's this for revenge?

A Houston man is accused of signing his ex-girlfriend up for a prisoner dating website.

Police said Carl Wayne McGraw, Jr., 30, was romantically involved with the victim for about five months

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ThinkStock
ThinkStock
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World’s Worst Thief Steals Fake Sandwiches

Times are tough. People need money… and food. Sadly, this means that sometimes the ones who are desperate resort to thievery as the only way out. This guy is no exception. To bad for him, his crime is a story that is sure to brighten up your day. All he wanted was a sandwich…

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Vintage Books/OllieR, Flickr
Vintage Books/OllieR, Flickr
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Man Assaults Girlfriend With Steak Sauce For Reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

When Emma McCormick read aloud passages of the runaway erotic best-seller ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘ to her longtime boyfriend last month, he had a very, um,  saucy reaction.

Unfortunately for McCormick’s eyes and Raymond Hodgson’s permanent record we’re talking the A.1. kind of saucy.

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ThinkStock
ThinkStock
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Couple In Big Trouble After Stuffing Baby In Carry-On Luggage

X-ray scanners have caught air travelers with all sorts of strange and embarrassing things in their carry-on luggage. But it would be hard to top the images captured last week at the Shar-Jah Airport in the United Arab Emirates when an Egyptian couple stuffed their five-month-old in a suitcase and tried to sneak him past security.

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Bangor Police Dept.
Bangor Police Dept.
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Ted Nugent’s Drummer Flees Police in…..What?

Nothing says hardened criminal badass like fleeing from police in a golf cart.  Usually, smart people tend to pick a vehicle better suited to outrun the cops.

Not the case for longtime Ted Nugent drummer Mick Brown who apparently stole a golf cart after a show in Bangor, Maine featuring Nugent, Styx and REO Speedwagon

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