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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

ThinkStock
ThinkStock
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Man Breaks Into House, Makes Pot Pie in His Underwear AND THEN THINGS GET WEIRD

If a wild night of drinking ends with you sitting on a recliner in your underwear waiting for some food to heat up in order to starve off a bad case of the beer-munchies, that usually means that on that night, you somehow managed to run with the ranks of the wicked and wild without getting into too much trouble.

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jm
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Jackmeoff Mudd Arrested and Found Guilty of Having Greatest Name Ever

It stands to reason that a man named Jackmeoff Mudd would be up to no good. You saddle a guy with that kind of name and you almost guarantee that at some point, he’s going to get himself into some trouble. That’s exactly what happened in Ft. Lauderdale, FL recently.

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Eli Duke, Flickr
Eli Duke, Flickr
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Man Arrested For DUI — On a Bulldozer

When you see a man driving around on a bulldozer at 2 AM, chances are he’s up to no good.

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Broward County Sheriff's Department
Broward County Sheriff's Department
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Mother and Son Accused of Stealing $2 Million of Merchandise from Toys R’ Us

It is always nice to see a mother and her son spending some quality time together. That is unless they are stealing millions of dollars of toys.

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Ferrari
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Guy in Ferrari Runs Over Cop’s Foot — You Guess What Happens Next

Here is a move only an uber-douche would attempt.

The douche who ran over the cop’s foot is Julien Chabbott. Don’t know him? Neither do we. Apparently he’s Stephanie Pratt’s boyfriend. Don’t remember her? Neither do we. Turn

Casey Anthony To Be Released From Prison Over Weekend
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Man Wants To Make a Beer Run So He Calls 911 For a Ride

Behind the pock marked mask of the true alcoholic, there are times when the stranglehold of desperation cuts off the blood flow to that part of the brain that serves as a holding cell for common sense.

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Lincoln Police Department / mccun934, flickr
Lincoln Police Department / mccun934, flickr
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Guy Arrested for Stealing a Half-Full Can of PBR

Look, we know it’s hot outside, and we know there’s nothing better on a scorching day than a nice cold beer. But wielding a weapon and stealing the one someone else is already drinking?

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Eugene Oregon Police Department
Eugene Oregon Police Department
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Man Arrested for Killing Knuckle Children in Neighbor’s Homes

In a strange case of jerking and entering, an Oregon man was arrested earlier this week for allegedly breaking into people’s homes and wrestling the old bald headed champ while watching porn on their personal computers.

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devcentre, flickr
devcentre, flickr
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Mom Busted for Hacking Into School Computers to Change Kids’ Grades

Helping your kids with their homework is one thing. Breaking into the school’s computer systems to change your kids’ grades is something else entirely — but that’s what a mom in Pennsylvania is accused of doing.

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YouTube
YouTube
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Rachel Martin, Bombshell Bank Teller, Steals $72K to Pay for a Boob Job

Rachel Martin is a pioneer. We’ve heard of people pulling inside bank jobs. We’ve heard of models getting boob jobs. This is the first time we’ve ever heard of an aspiring model pulling an inside bank job so that she could get a boob job – we guess it was just a matter of time.

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4Chan
4Chan
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Hackers Swiftly Identify Disgruntled Lettuce-Stomping Burger King Employee

A disgruntled Burger King employee was quickly shown the door after posting a knees-down photo of himself standing in lettuce meant for sandwiches — and then having his identity outed by a group of crack internet sleuths.

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Screen-shot-2012-07-19-at-2.35.16-PM
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Man Impaled on Fence After Dodging Out on Bar Tab

There is no joy in having to pay a large bar tab, especially when there seems to be a discrepancy with the bill. However, it is well advised to just pay it – because there is even less joy in having to be removed from a fence after you impale yourself while attempting to pull the old “drink and dash” routine.

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