BREAKING NEWS!! Strange Case of Missing Auto Accidents Grips Victoria!
If you’ve read our local newspaper this morning (shh, no names), there is apparently either an epidemic of incredibly slow reporters, or auto accidents that seemingly disappear.
Taken from said paper this morning are two different accounts of auto accidents happening at two different locations. However, when the reporters arrive on scene it seems they can’t find the wreck. Is a case of alien abduction? Are the aliens tired of abducting trailer park residents and have now focused on fender bender victims? What’s the deal? Where did they go?
I believe I have the answer….but first, here are the play by plays of the carnage.
“9:55 a.m. – We have a reporter and photographer headed to the scene of a reported wreck at Farm-to-Market Road 1686 and Johnson Rd in Victoria. We’ll post more details as they become available.
10:27 a.m. – Upon arrival on scene, the reporter could not find a wreck. No more information is available at this time.”
The photographer, however, did snap this image that is mysteriously devoid of a wreck so I guess we’re inclined to believe him although I smell government cover up here…
Weird right? But then…
“10:04 a.m. – Reporter is headed to the scene of a wreck at Farm-to-Market Road 1685 and Southwest Moody.
10:18 a.m. – Upon arriving to the scene, the reporter could not find the wreck. No more information is available at this time.”
What is going on in Victoria?!? When will the accident victim abductions end?
Only time will tell. In the mean time, perhaps we can hit up any number of nursing homes in town….I’m certain any number of their residents can make it to the scene of an accident faster than apparently some reporters can……geez.