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Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a literary slop zombie; a mutt breed of surrealism and violence; a man who likes his metal heavy and his rock southern. In May of 2007, he boldly published a book of maniacal short stories entitled ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: Redneck Tales from the Armpit of America’ - selling more than 10,000 copies worldwide. However, in 2010, he released ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: The Holy Sh*t’, which sold about 100 copies - if you count close friends, relatives and other people who felt sorry for him. Mike Adams also co-stars in the films ‘Watch Out’, ‘Phone Sex’, ‘Wamego: Ultimatum’, and ‘Trust Me’. He has also contributed music to the movie “It Came from Trafalgar” starring Hank Williams III and Gunnar Hansen from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Mike Adams currently resides in Southern Indiana where he writes for a number of Townsquare Media websites, HIGH TIMES, Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, and Hustler magazine.
Whiskey and coke
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Thanks, Science: Cutting Whiskey With Diet Soda Gets You Hammered

To the wild-eyed booze enthusiast, it is a sometimes-necessary evil to cut 80 proof whiskey with diet soda, to keep that girlish figure without having to throw your balls up over your shoulders and just do shots. Good news, friends -- it's also an efficient way to get tanked.

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Drunken aliens
Patrick Aventurier, Getty Images
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Tough Day, Bro — Dude Gets Abducted By Aliens and Charged With DUI

While there is no scientific proof that the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol will render a person completely insane, there is certainly no shortage of case studies within this mad, mad world to build a strong argument against it. See above.

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Does sex burn calories
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New Research Finds Bumping Uglies Only Burns 21 Calories — Dibs on Telling Richard Simmons

If you've always lived your life by the age-old myth that you can burn 300 calories every time you knock athletic shoes with your partner in carnal knowledge, a new study suggests that you might want to start bumping uglies on a stationary bike or elliptical machine – recent findings show the average person only burns roughly 21 calories while barely sweating it out in the sack.

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Category: Health, Science, Victoria News Tags: ,
Earth
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Science Could Be Close to Mapping Out Alien Worlds

Scientists are making revolutionary advancements in how they study alien planets. Recently, astronomers discovered that they could use the process of reflecting starlight in order to create composite maps of unknown worlds that would enable them to define pertinent aspects of planetary life, such as land, water and clouds. 

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The Jerk
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Drunken Jerk Drops Pants, Spanks Off, Sings for Police

Across the bayou, it is not difficult to find a crossbreed of stark-raving mad drunkards and dive bar sideshows aggressively humping the legs off civil society. Unfortunately, when there is nothing civilized left for these gutter fiends to devour besides the skin in between their teeth, the only hope for the rest of us is that soon the flood waters will rise again and bury these beasts at sea.

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Category: Dumb Criminals, Humor, Weird News Tags:
Betelgeuse
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Star 1000x Larger Than the Sun Set to Collide With Interstellar Wall and Oh God What is an Interstellar Wall?!

Not only is the famed Betelgeuse star set to burn out the remainder of its astronomical life, but it is also on an immediate crash course with a ginormous interstellar wall. Thanks science, we were just saying earlier how we never wanted to sleep ever again!

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Category: News, Science, Weird News Tags: ,
Fallen snowman
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Drunk Man Has Sex With Snowman and Gets Frostbite On His Wiener

There are times when the eyes of an alcoholic reveal a darkness so vast that everything decrepit in the universe appears to makes sense, like a bloodshot looking glass reflecting a message from God - or maybe not. Either way, occasionally a rare breed of sloppy degenerate rises up from the drunken pits of hell to prove to the rest of us that there is a long way to go before we ever hit rock bottom. You'll know them by their frostbitten penises. 

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Category: Health, Humor, News, Weird News Tags: ,
Cute animals
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Want to Smash Cute Animals? Researchers Say You May Be Normal, But We Still Think You’re Sick

Having the uncontrollable urge to smoosh your neighbor’s adorable puppy or punch a random kitten in the face is "completely normal," according to a new study. So basically, researchers have found that the human race is full of psychopaths with a naturally aggressive response to things they find adorably vulnerable. Excellent.

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Category: Health, Humor, News, Science, Weird News Tags:
Man talking to girl
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Can’t Get Laid? Blame Your Genetics

Ever notice how some guys just do not seem to possess the proper genetics to be strong, successful or you know, get laid? According to a new study in the Scandinavian Journal of Medicine and Science in Sports. That’s because some men lack the actual gene that allows them to be risk-takers.

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Category: Health, Humor, Science, Victoria News Tags:

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