Professional cycling really don’t impress us much. These guys have been chemically and physically engineered from birth to become pedal monsters and ride biked made by NASA engineers that could withstand the wind resistance produced by a nuclear holocaust.
Every year on April 1st, office water coolers are spiked with white wine and computer mouses are glued to desks. Every year on college campuses, half empty buckets of water are placed on the top of dorm room doors and passed out bros are covered with marker ink. And throughout the world, the sound of chuckling and cackling can be heard echoing across its borders.
April Fool’s Day is just around the corner and that means rubes all over the world are bound to have their toilet seats super glued, their coffee spiked with garlic and their lives turned into someone else’s entertainment.
Some say alien abductions are nothing more than fevered, unexplained night visions that make their victims believe they were the guinea pig of an interstellar joyride.
Others believe the stories as cold hard fact, that aliens are using humans to unlock all of the mysteries of the universe, which may or may not have something to do with an ultrasound probe in an uncomfortable place.
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney might be squeezing out a lead in the Republican primaries, but his dull demeanor and lukewarm personality have turned him into a giant Ambien on the electorate, even for some of the people in his own party.
South Korea is getting their own version of ‘Top Gear.’ Their first episode is bound to be way cooler than even the first episode of the original show, even if this massive helicopter crash wasn’t by intention.
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