The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Man Drives Same Rolls-Royce For 78 Years
You can't take it with you. Isn't that the expression people always use when they want your stuff after you drop dead? Mr. Allen Swift knew he couldn't take his 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly P1 Roadster with him to the afterlife, but he made sure it was well taken care of after they tossed him into the ground.
Batman Chess Set Would Only Make Sense in Stately Wayne Manor
DUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNA CHESS SET! Yeah, not as catchy.
Pockets Are For Squares — Carry Cash in the Cash Capsule
Wallets are for granddad and kids with a Velcro obsession. Real men use money clips or just fold their dough into their front pants pocket. These are the normal, yet not always safe, options.
Show Gratitude For Your Crappy Gifts With These Filthy Xmas Cards
It's easy to send Thank You cards for awesome Xmas gifts but what is appropriate when a show of gratitude is in order but the gift sucked jingle balls?
Watch This Clearly Insane Fella Smash Another Driver’s Windshield With His Fist
This video might be good reason for everyone to get a dashboard cam.
Why Pretending to Appreciate Bad Xmas Gifts is Harder Than Faking Orgasms — Half a Man
I’m here to share my expertise with the group. Not about faking orgasms (you’re on your own kid) but to share what I’ve seen, what I’ve learned, and the best ways to react to crap gifts or to avoid the situation all together.
One-Handed Basketball Player is Better Than Half His Two-Handed Opponents
Zach Hodskins, a 6'2 Junior for Milton High School in Georgia, was born with just one arm. That didn't stop him from becoming an insanely good basketball player. His highlight reel shows he can do just about anything on the court.
This makes us feel awful about our athletic ability...
‘Where’s Waldo’ Hat from Urban Outfitters Will Make Strangers Stare at Your Head
Need a reason for complete strangers to stare at your head, point, and yell "I think I see him!"? Then you, my friend, have issues.
The Day a Donut Almost Killed Me — Half a Man
Individually, the interns were all pretty nice guys. A little juvenile, sure, but tolerable for the most part. Put them all at a conference table in a professional setting, though, and it was like assembling lazy intern Voltron -- Each khaki-panted part sliding onto the next to create one massive jerk...
Woman Rinses Off at Car Wash After Pooping Her Pants
We've been doing this blogging thing a long, long time. We go back to Blogspot pages and Geocities sites being under construction. That said, we know when it's best to write very little and just let the video do all the explaining.
We'll dummy up the words and let this woman's butt tell the entire story...
‘Greek Elvis’ Left Rare Lamborghini In a Hotel Parking Lot For Thirty Years
It must be nice to be so filthy rich that a gifted Lamborghini Miura S can just rot in a parking garage for thirty years and, eh, no big deal. It must also be cool to be 'Greek Elvis' but let's focus on the car.
Urban Shredder From Hot Wheels Sure to Be on Most Dangerous Toy List this Holiday
The Urban Shredder from Hot Wheels looks like every kid's moist dream and every parent's biggest nightmare.