10 Observations on the NCAA Conference Realignment Issue
The landscape in college sports continues to go through more changes than Lady Gaga’s wardrobe during an awards show, with no signs of conference realignment slowing down anytime soon. As schools continue to flee one conference for another, we thought we’d take a humorous look at the ever-shifting landscape of college sports.
1. The Big East should invite the University of Beijing and Baghdad Tech. With the addition of schools from the Middle East and the Far East, the conference should then change its name to the Really Big East.
2. The Big 10 will have 12 teams and the Big 12 has 10. These are collegiate conferences, yet no one can do basic math. The future of higher education is frightening.
3. Change the name of the Pac-12 to the Pack-12 because so many teams are moving out of their conferences.
4. We’re not saying Conference USA is in trouble, but DeVry and the University of Phoenix just turned down an invitation to join.
5. Boise State’s move to the Big East is being held up because it can’t get out of its membership in the Mountain Time Zone.
6. Say what you will about conference realignment, but there is a real upside. For instance, no one thought it was possible, but the intensity of the SMU-Marquette women’s cross-country rivalry will actually rise to a whole new level now that they’ll meet every year. Good luck getting tickets .
7. Forget about adding schools to create super-conferences. Let’s merge bowls. We can combine the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl and the GoDaddy.com Bowl to create one giant super-sucky bowl.
8. People say these conference moves are all about money and greed, but they’re not. Pitting schools 2,000 miles away from each other as regular rivals is just the NCAA’s way of helping the airline industry.
9. The earthquakes and hurricanes this year must have shifted a lot of the tectonic plates. How else to explain Missouri being in the Southeastern Conference?
10. The Big East lost three teams and is trying to add about a half dozen more. It’s fluctuating more than Jonah Hill’s waist size.
Drew Weisholtz is a funny guy. Unless you didn’t like this, in which case he’s simply using a pseudonym. He’s written for ABC and other online outlets and does standup comedy in front of actual people. You can follow him on Twitter @undrstoodgenius.